Our society prioritizes sons over daughters. Our family wants to limit their daughters within the four walls of a room with a low-profile dream.
There is still a far less number of daughters who dare forge ahead with determination to pursue their dreams breaking down the narrow-mindedness and gender stereotypes of our society.
With the growing awareness in the new generation, the old mindset of the society is undergoing changes gradually, of late. However, many a daughter still seem diffident and feel as if they are in an alienated world. They do not feel at home.
The society is still putting a bridle on the wishes and the freedom of choices in lives of daughters owing to the narrow-mindedness of the families and the society. I have long been experiencing it since my childhood.
With a heavy heart I often broke into tears secretly. However, I did not lose my confidence and continued pushing myself towards the set goal.
It’s been almost one year since I came to Japan to pursue my higher education ignoring many gender stereotypes and wrong views.
I have gained a lot of experiences during a short span of time.
I feel proud to have arrived here for a higher education and to support myself, to some extent though, economically, by putting aside many hassles including early marriage and household chores that daughters are supposed to do at home.
However, seeing Nepalis with the same narrow-mindedness here also makes me sad. There is a Nepali community here, too. Some are good but some are ugly carrying the same narrow-mindedness and Nepali stereotypes in Japan.
Most students who come to Japan to study can work part-time. According to Japanese regulations, you can work up to 28 hours a week during school hours and 40 hours a week during school holidays.
Many Nepali students like me have experienced that educational consultancies in Nepal send students to Japan by giving them wrong information that there are enough job opportunities in Japan. When you come here, nothing happens as expected.
When you come from Nepal, you have to bring hostel and school money for some time. But gradually you have to pay the college fees yourself. Students who spend Rs 1 million to 1.4 million while coming to Japan from Nepal have to pay a separate monthly fee to the language school after arriving in Japan. In order to collect the same fees and living expenses, the school allows work 28 hours a week.
But the consultancy in Nepal says that the school can find a job and work full time. My experience is that it is not as easy as the consultancy says in Japan. Not all schools are looking for jobs here. Even if you search somewhere else, you have to go for the interview yourself.
After arriving in Japan, students face a lot of difficulties including getting jobs, home nostalgia, the study pressure, etc., that might ultimately lead them to depression and even committing suicide. In the beginning, new students have some language problems. Nepali 'student workers' who come from Nepal without learning the language may face harassment while seeking jobs.
In general, the problem of not getting a job is increasing for failing to understand the questions asked during the interview.
Today, I will tell you something that should be known especially for girls who are coming to Japan on a student visa.
Never fall for someone's sweet assurances. Just believe in your own abilities. When the time comes to struggle in life, never panic. Japan is for capable daughters like us who can handle both opportunities and challenges, never do wrongs.
Before coming to Japan, you should be prepared to the extent that you can do everything by yourself. There is no unity among Nepalis here. Most Nepalis, I think, are also very selfish. But I consider myself lucky. In the early days, Rama didi helped me out in many ways.
But some of my female friends told me some heartbreaking stories. “What do you offer when I look for a job to you?” was the mean and lewd response while seeking help from those Nepalis who arrived in Japan a few years earlier, they shared.
Not all, but some Nepalis have forgotten their past and background within a short span of time after coming to Japan. Therefore, prepare yourself without having to ask anyone for any help.
Japan is among the safest countries in the world. It is from the Nepali people you have to stay safe here. Otherwise, you don't have to be afraid to walk alone on the road at night. You can walk with confidence.
I say again, improve Japanese language. We came to Japan with beautiful dreams. Do not sell your dignity for the lure of anything.
Dear daughters!
After arriving here, I have heard of cases where some decided to stay in a live-in relationship due to financial constraints and later regretted it, which eventually led them to depression and some even had to return to Nepal.
You are capable enough. Live with courage. Our future in Japan is very bright. The education system here is excellent. There is work and sufficient income for the hardworking ones. We must insist on becoming independent.
Never fall for someone's sweet assurances. Just believe in your own abilities. When the time comes to struggle in life, never panic. Japan is for capable daughters like us who can handle both opportunities and challenges, never do wrongs. Never turn back. And always look ahead.
Thanks to the brave girls who believe in their dreams and desires without thinking about what society says or thinks!
